


Asking Him

by irena_adler



Series: Watson [66]
Category: Numb3rs
Genre: Discussion of BDSM, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-07
Updated: 2016-04-10
Packaged: 2018-05-31 19:12:29
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 5,684
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6484060
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/irena_adler/pseuds/irena_adler
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Charlie wants something that Colby doesn't think he can give him.</p><p>Takes place right after 'Sniper Dreams' and is four parts.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Charlie's Distraction

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Charlie makes a startling request.

**Title:** Asking Him, Part 1 of 4  
**Characters:** Charlie/Colby **  
**Rating: FRM, R **  
**Summary: Charlie wants something that Colby doesn't think he can give him.  
Part 1 - Charlie's Distraction  
Charlie makes a startling request.  
****Disclaimer:**** Not my characters, not my world, making no money. ** **  
**** Feedback: Yes, please! Feed the author! **  
**Warning: Discussion of BDSM  
****A/N:****   This is a sequel to [Sniper Dreams](http://irena-adler.livejournal.com/49000.html).  Thanks to my betas and first reader.

  
**Part 1 – Charlie's Distraction  
**

 

Colby watched the movie with only half of his attention.Charlie wasn’t even paying that much attention.He was doodling in a notebook – actual doodles, not math.Colby had been waiting all evening for Charlie to get up the nerve to say whatever it was that was on his mind, but Charlie didn’t seem to be getting there.With a sigh, Colby paused the movie.It took Charlie a moment to even notice, then he looked up.

“Charlie, what is it?”Colby asked.

“What’s what?” Charlie responded.

“What’s going on in that brilliant brain of yours?” Colby asked, keeping his tone light.

Charlie frowned down at his notebook and added another layer to his geometrical shapes.Colby waited, trying to be patient.

Finally, Charlie said, “Do you think that next time we … mess around that you could tie me up and stuff?”

Colby’s eyebrows shot up.Of all the things that he’d guessed Charlie was worrying about, this was not one of them.“Sure, Angel, we’ve done that before—Wait, what do you mean by ‘stuff’?”

Charlie looked up at him through his lashes, a sure signal for Colby to be concerned.“I mean really tying me up, so that it leaves marks and bruises and not letting me go even if I ask and using a knife but not really just making me believe that you will.”

“Uh …” Colby said, his eyebrows staying high on his forehead.“What brought this on?”

“I, umm, had a vivid dream yesterday.”

“A dream.”

“Kind of a fantasy and a dream, both.”

“And in this fantasy dream, I used a knife on you?”

Charlie flushed.“It wasn’t you.”

“Not me,” Colby repeated flatly.“You fantasized about someone else tying you up and cutting you?”

Charlie flushed darker, but his chin came up and his mouth turned stubborn.“And also fucking me until I screamed.”

“Damn, Charlie!”Colby spat.“Who was it?”He got a sinking feeling.“Was it Don?”

Charlie blinked.“No, no.”

_Thank God for small favors._ “Who, then?” he snapped.

“Umm, Edgerton.”

“ _Edgerton_?”Colby’s stomach dropped to his toes.His lover was fantasizing about being under the mercy of one of the toughest, most merciless men Colby had ever met. _What the hell?_ “You want Ian Edgerton to tie you up and fuck you until you scream?”

“No,” Charlie said impatiently.“I want _you_ to.”

“What is going on?”Colby asked, completely at a loss.

“Why does anything have to be going on?” Charlie snapped.“It’s just a simple request.”

“A simple …”Colby frowned at a sudden thought.“Charlie, is this about what happened to Don?I mean how he got trashed at that club?”

“Why would it be about that?”

“Well,” Colby said, “If you’re trying to understand it—”

“No, nothing to do with that.It was just really exciting to be tied up and he kept going even though I begged him to stop.”

A wave of nausea swept over Colby.“You’re talking about rape.Rape is not _exciting_.”

“I don’t see why you’re making such a big deal—”

“A big deal,” Colby repeated hollowly.“You had a fucking _rape-fantasy_ about that goddamned sniper and I’m making a big deal out of it?”

“Yeah,” Charlie said, shoving the notebook off his lap.“I told you that it was just a fantasy.You’re acting like I went and did it.”

“Even fantasizing about something like that is reason to worry,” Colby said.“I don’t understand you.”

“Apparently not,” Charlie said, getting to his feet.“I thought I could tell you anything.”

“You can,” Colby snapped.“But don’t expect me not to react to something like that.”

“Over-react, you mean,” Charlie growled.

“Charlie,” Colby said, trying to calm down.“I’m not going to hurt you like that.I _love_ you.Rape is about violence and hate, not love.”

“Stop using that word!”Charlie said, snatching his notebook from the floor.“It wasn’t like that.”

The image of Charlie, jerking off to thoughts of Edgerton cutting and beating him, rose up in Colby’s vision and he gave up trying to be calm.“I obviously don’t get it,” he snarled. “I guess you’re just going to have to go find Edgerton.”

“Maybe I will!” Charlie shot back and stomped out of the room.Colby heard the front door slam, then all was silence.

Colby put his head in his hands and contemplated being ill all over his tennis shoes.

  
Charlie found himself in the garage, but he didn’t pick up the chalk.Instead, he stood trembling with anger and reaction.He knew that he’d gone about it all wrong, but he was so used to Colby understanding him that he hadn’t thought it through.He’d figured that once he got the nerve to ask, Colby would say ‘alright’ and maybe even ‘how about now?’

He turned around and headed to his car.With a flash of viciousness, he hoped that Colby would think he was indeed going to find Edgerton.He probably was still in town, working on the case that Charlie had consulted on yesterday.But Charlie had no desire to see him, not with Colby’s word ‘rape’ echoing between his ears.He got in his car and drove towards the only person he thought might really understand.

 


	2. Charlie's Dilemma

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Charlie looks for help.

**Title:** Asking Him, Part 2  
 **Characters:** Charlie/Colby, Will/Don **  
Rating:** FRM, R **  
Summary:** Charlie wants something that Colby doesn't think he can give him.  
Part 2 - Charlie's Dilemma  
Charlie looks for help.  
 ** **Disclaimer:**** Not my characters, not my world, making no money. ** **  
Feedback:**** Yes, please! Feed the author! **  
Warning: Discussion of BDSM**  
 ** **A/N:****   This is a sequel to [Sniper Dreams](http://irena-adler.livejournal.com/49000.html).  Thanks to my betas and first reader.

 

**Part 2 – Charlie's Dilemma**   


 

Charlie had to knock twice on the door before anyone answered.It was late but he couldn’t wait.He heard the TV through the door and knocked louder.

The door swung open and Don stared at him. “What’s wrong?”

“Had a fight,” Charlie mumbled.“Can I come in?”

“A fight?”Don said blankly.“With who?”

“Colby,” Charlie said, rolling his eyes.“Who else?”

“About what?”

“About sex, okay?” Charlie snapped.“Now, can I come in?”

Don blinked and stepped back.Charlie pushed past him and into the small front room.

“Charlie?” Will said, getting up from the couch.“Everything okay?”

“He and Colby had a fight,” Don said behind Charlie.“About sex, of all things.I would have bet that you two had that all figured out …”

Will flashed Don an annoyed look.“You know it can get complicated.”He turned back to Charlie.“You wanna talk about it or do you just need a place to crash for a while?”

“Talk,” Charlie said.“I’m hoping you might understand.”

Will raised his eyebrows and exchanged glances with Don.“Why me?” 

“It’s kinda domination submission stuff,” Charlie mumbled.“Colby called it a ‘rape-fantasy’.”

“Whoa,” Don said.“I so didn’t need to hear that.I think Will’s who you want to talk to about that kind of stuff and I think I … I’m gonna go take a run.”

“Okay,” Charlie said, relieved.He didn’t really want to talk about this with Don around.It was embarrassing enough as it was, without his brother putting in his two cents.

Charlie sat down on the couch and he and Will waited in silence for Don to change into running clothes and shoes.

When Don was safely out the door, Charlie took a deep breath.“Umm, it started with this … fantasy dream that I had yesterday.”His face turned red, but he described his fantasy to Will in detail.Will’s calm, listening expression didn’t change and Charlie was able to finish the dream, tell in what state he woke up, and relate this evening’s argument with Colby.He put in every piece he could remember, knowing that more data was always better.

Will was quiet for a while, looking off into space with a slight frown, and Charlie fidgeted.Had he messed up telling Will?Surely if anyone could understand … Or maybe Charlie had miscalculated the effect that Will’s time in the BDSM club had on him.Maybe now he was totally against that stuff.

At last, Will turned to him.“Charlie,” he said, his voice holding a note of caution, “I’m not a counselor or anything, so I’m not really qualified but I’ll give it a shot, if you’re willing to listen to me.”

Charlie nodded firmly and leaned forward.

“Okay.When did people first figure out that you were a genius?”

Charlie blinked at the unexpected question.However, this was psychology so he shouldn’t expect to understand it.“Umm, age three or four.Definitely by age five.”

“So, you really didn’t have a strong sense of self yet, before the label ‘genius’ was put on you.”

“Guess not.”

“And you were treated special right away, special tutors and schools and stuff, right?”

“Yeah.”

Will nodded.“It kinda makes sense.”

“What does?”

Will leaned forward and captured Charlie’s eyes.“All your life you’ve been told that you were the next Einstein, the next great mathematician.You have been nursed along this path, coddled and protected, but also great things have been expected of you.You were put inside a safe bubble and everyone waited outside, waiting for you to come up with the next Theory of Relativity.I can only imagine the pressure.”

Charlie shrugged.“I’ve never wanted to do anything else but math, not sure I could.”

“No,” Will agreed.“I’m not sure you could, either.But you’ve been walking around all your life with the weight of huge expectations.”

“Okay,” Charlie frowned.“Maybe, but I don’t see the connection.”

“And in general, you’ve lived up to those expectations.”

That made Charlie sit up straighter and smile.“Thanks.”

“But, God, it’s got to be tough.You’re never out of the spotlight.It would be appealing to you, the idea of being totally powerless, totally helpless to do anything – and thereby freeing yourself of the weight of expectations.”

Charlie nodded thoughtfully.That made a lot of sense, or at least as much sense as psychology ever did.

Will pulled his hair tie out of his hair and fiddled with it as he talked.“There are two aspects of being a sub – one, giving up power and, two, giving that power to someone else.”

Charlie nodded again.He liked the symmetry of that.

“If he really understood, Colby would be honored by what you asked him to do, because you are showing how much you trust him.You and your brother are a lot alike – it’s very tough for either of you to give up control.”

Charlie tilted his head, suddenly curious.“Does he?”

“Give up control?” Will asked with a secret smile.“Yes, he does, but he fights it like crazy before he does.I’m honored that he trusts me that much.”

“But … I thought he did … at that club, to total strangers …”

Will’s eyes flashed.“Don’t use that filthy club as an example of healthy BDSM.Don didn’t know what he was doing.He was broken, desperate.In a way, he was trying to commit suicide of personality.Good power play energizes you, builds you up, gives you what you need.It doesn’t drain you, break you down, and leave you wanting.”

“Okay, okay,” Charlie said, backpedaling.Maybe there was a lot about this that he really didn’t understand.

Will eyed him for a moment, as if judging his thoughts, then nodded.“So you need to release power and give it to another.From your description of the dream, I worry that you think that ‘real’ submission doesn’t involve safe words or the ability to say ‘no’.That is just … stupid, Charlie.”

“Why?”Charlie said stubbornly. “I trust Colby.”

Will shook his head.“That’s not the question.You are both novices and don’t know how to communicate in a scene.You have no idea what your boundaries are, or his boundaries.He could hurt you without knowing it.Think of it as the first time you ever drive a car, trying to do it without brakes.”

Charlie grimaced, not really getting the analogy, but he’d have to defer to Will’s expertise.That was why he was here, after all.

“You might think it would be easy to be a sub, that the Dom does all the work, but it’s a partnership, built around trust and communication.The Dom isn’t there to just hurt you.That’s what a torturer does, a rapist.”

Charlie looked down at his hands, remembering Colby’s reaction.He’d used the word ‘rape,’ too.

As if he knew what Charlie was thinking, Will continued quietly, “You have to understand what you’re asking Colby to do.I think that Colby is, at heart, a gentle man.He probably found the idea of deliberately causing you pain a horrible thought.To him that is the opposite of love.”

Charlie looked up, frustrating rising in his throat.“After all that – you telling me that you can see why I want it – you tell me that I can’t have it?Or that I have to cheat on Colby to have it?”

Will gave a helpless shrug.“I’ll talk to him, if you want, but I’m not guaranteeing that he’ll understand.It’s not for everyone.You may have to settle for a lesser version, something that Colby can be comfortable with – like some light bondage.”

“We already do that sometimes,” Charlie mumbled.He was so used to Colby being the pinnacle of all sexual fulfillment, that the concept that Colby wouldn’t be up for something never occurred to him.He had made some serious miscalculations in this from beginning to end.He sighed.“Now what do I do?”

Will gave him a crooked smile and held out his cellphone.“Now you call Colby and apologize for laying this on him without warning.You go home, make sweet and gentle love to Colby, and you reassure each other.Then you think about what we talked about and you have Colby call me if he wants to talk.We can meet for coffee or something, somewhere non-threatening.I make no promises, but I think I can get Colby to at least understand why you asked what you did.”

Charlie nodded slowly and took the phone from Will.He dialed Colby’s cellphone number and waited in trepidation.

“Will?”Colby answered.“This isn’t really a good—”

“Hi,” Charlie said softly.“I left my phone at home.”

“You’re … at Will and Don’s?”

“Yeah.”

Charlie said, “Cole, I’m sorry that—” at the same time that Colby said, “Look, I didn’t mean—”

They both stopped and started again, “I shouldn’t have—” Charlie said as Colby said, “I over-reacted when—”

“You go first,” Colby said.

“Okay,” Charlie said.“I’m sorry that I dropped that on you out of nowhere.I didn’t realize how it would sound.Will helped me realize that and other things too, like why I asked in the first place.”

“You talked to Will about this?” Colby asked tightly.“Don, too?”

“Only Will,” Charlie said.“I needed to talk to somebody.”

Colby sighed.“Sorry you couldn’t talk to me.”

“It’s okay, Cole, really.Can we just forget about it for now?”

“Just for now?”

“I need to think this through better.And maybe you could talk to Will, sometime?”

Colby made an uncomfortable sound and Charlie said quickly, “You don’t have to.It was just an idea.”

“You and your ideas,” Colby said wryly.

“Yeah,” Charlie said, shrugging even if Colby couldn’t see him.

“Are you coming home?”Colby asked.

“If you want me to,” Charlie responded cautiously.

“Of course I do, Angel,” Colby said with another sigh.“Come home.”

“’Kay,” Charlie said and shut the phone.He handed the phone back to Will and said, “Thanks,” obviously meaning more than just the use of his phone.

“Sure,” Will said and ruffled Charlie’s hair in his usual annoying, big brother way.

Charlie grumbled and ducked away, but he was smiling.He left the house and walked to his car, already planning how he would fulfill Will’s instructions to make sweet, gentle love to Colby.


	3. Colby's Confusion

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Colby needs to understand.

**Title:** Asking Him, Part 3  
 **Characters:** Charlie/Colby, Will **  
Rating:** FRM, R **  
Summary:** Charlie wants something that Colby doesn't think he can give him.  
Part 3 - Colby's Confusion  
Colby needs to understand.  
 ** **Disclaimer:**** Not my characters, not my world, making no money. ** **  
Feedback:**** Yes, please! Feed the author! **  
Warning: Discussion of BDSM**  
 ** **A/N:****   This is a sequel to [Sniper Dreams](http://irena-adler.livejournal.com/49000.html).  Thanks to my content expert for telling me that I got it and my betas.

 

**Part 3 – Colby’s Confusion**

 

Colby took a deep breath and pushed open the door to the DEA office.He did not want to be here.He didn’t want to be involved in any of this, but he was.

“Hey, Stevens,” somebody called.“I think this underwear model is looking for you.”

Will looked up from his desk and grinned when he saw Colby.His grin faded as he took in Colby’s serious expression.He got to his feet.“Something wrong?”

Colby shook his head quickly.“Wanna grab an early lunch?”

Will looked around then said, “Sure.”

“Off for a nooner?” someone else called.

“And ain’t you jealous!” Will shot back.He went up to Colby and took his arm.“Ignore the cretins.”

Colby grimaced.“Got somewhere close by where we can get a sandwich and talk?”

Will nodded and led the way out.Colby wasn’t surprised that Will didn’t ask what the topic was.

Since Charlie had made his shocking request yesterday, Colby hadn’t been able to stop thinking about it.Charlie had come home from Will’s last night, subdued and apologetic for springing it on him.They’d gone to bed and Charlie had made sexual overtures, and Colby had turned him down, saying he was tired.Charlie’s touch had been gentle and loving, but all Colby could think about was Charlie’s fantasy of being raped by Edgerton.He’d felt nauseous all morning, and had to fend off repeated queries as to his health.

Will led them across the street to a quiet café.Not too quiet, though, it had masking music.They ordered sandwiches and coffee and when they’d got them, took a table in the far end of the room.

Colby looked down at his sandwich, feeling no hunger whatsoever.

“Colby,” Will said.“I presume you want to talk about Charlie’s fantasy?”His voice was even, calm and soothing to Colby’s nervousness.

“Want to?” Colby said.“Not really, but I can’t stop thinking about it.”

Will looked him square in the face.“Okay, first off, we need to define a few things.Charlie said that you’d called his fantasy ‘rape’.You and I have seen rape.We know that rape is evil, violent, and has nothing whatsoever to do with sex.What Charlie was fantasizing about was not rape.He gave his consent to the activity.In his fantasy or dream, whatever you want to call it, he was given a number of opportunities to back out, but Charlie didn’t want to.That’s the first thing you need to understand – the critical difference is consent, okay?”

Colby nodded slowly.Charlie had said that Edgerton hadn’t stopped even when he asked him to, but apparently Will had gotten a more complete picture.He swallowed his unhappiness at Charlie needing to talk to someone other than him and said, “Okay.So it’s not rape if he consents to it.It’s still … wrong.”

“Is it the activity that’s wrong or the fact that it was Edgerton?”

“Both,” Colby mumbled.

“Easy one first,” Will said.“Charlie chose Edgerton because he fears him.Hell, anyone with a clue is afraid of Edgerton.Charlie knows that you’re a gentle, loving person and that this sort of power play wouldn’t come naturally to you.He’s not lusting after Edgerton, it’s just that he can more easily imagine particular behavior from him than you.”

Colby’s lips twisted.“Particular behavior …”

“Let’s take a step back,” Will said, and Colby could tell he was in full teacher mode.“Control is a basic psychological need, but it can be taken too far.I’m sure you’ve worked with people, either in the Bureau or the army, that never relax, never let go.They’re always wound so tight and can’t deal with the smallest thing going wrong.”

Colby nodded.That sounded like Agent Vitters.

“These are the sorts of people that crack and crack bad – shooting up an office building kind of bad.”

Colby nodded again.It wasn’t hard to picture Agent Vitters cracking.

“There are people who know that they need to relax, let go of control, but aren’t really able to, for some reason.They have to have another person _force_ them to relinquish control.They give consent to that person but fight it all the same.”

Frowning, Colby took a bite from his sandwich.He could imagine Vitters needing to go to such extreme lengths, but Charlie?

“So, Charlie,” Will said as if he was reading Colby’s face.“Let’s back up again and come at it from a different angle.Charlie was born brilliant, everyone knows that.He was barely out of diapers when he got labeled a genius.He has spent his entire life living up to that label.He has to be always ‘on’ or people like Penfield tear him to pieces.Every class presentation has to be extraordinary, every paper ground-breaking.Millie puts him on this pedestal for possible benefactors to come and worship.Imagine the pressure.”

Colby blinked at Will. “But that’s just Charlie.”

Will smiled gently at him.“Exactly.He always has to be Dr. Charles Eppes, Genius.”

“Not at home,” Colby protested.“Not with me or his family.”

“Not entirely, no.But there’s still this internalized pressure, this drive to impress Don or you or live up to his father’s sacrifices.”

“So what I need to do is help Charlie understand that he doesn’t need to work to impress me,” Colby argued.“Not beat him up.”

“It would be good to help Charlie understand that, yes, but we’re talking about core-deep beliefs here.Words may not be enough.Sometimes you have to bypass the thinking brain and go straight for the sensory brain.That’s where power play or BDSM can come into it.I mean, we’re only talking about one aspect of BDSM, but don’t worry about that.What Charlie craves, on a basic, hindbrain level, is a complete surrender.No expectations.To be unable to do anything and therefore be free from needing to do so.”

Colby stared at Will, trying to process what he was saying.Will made it sound so logical, simple.But how could he get from there to thrashing Charlie with a whip?Colby shuddered and put his head in his hands.

Will ate his sandwich silently while Colby’s brain spun but got nowhere.

“What if I can’t do it?”Colby whispered through his fingers.“What if I can’t give him that?”

Will sighed.“That’s a tough one.I don’t think that Charlie would be willing to submit to anyone but you, even if it was okay with you if he did.”

“Great,” Colby groaned.

Will set down his sandwich and put his hand on Colby’s arm.“Charlie will be fine without ever having it.Just because we crave something doesn’t mean we’ll be stunted if we don’t get it.In fact, I think that you are helping Charlie through it already, in the sense that you’re slowly teaching him, just by unconditionally loving him, that he doesn’t need to put on a show for you.Both of you would probably have been just fine if Charlie had never brought this up.”

“But he did, and now I gotta deal with it,” Colby said.

“Yeah,” Will said.

“So we’re screwed?”

“No,” Will said firmly.“You both just have more information than you used to.Nothing else has changed.”

“Feels like it …”

“Understandable.But let me ask you this – During sex, have you ever taken the lead, commanded Charlie to do things or not do things?”

“Yeah.”Colby remembered the time that he’d commanded Charlie to suck him in the FBI bathroom then later jerked Charlie off through his jeans.Charlie had been totally aroused by Colby’s forceful behavior.

“Ever tied Charlie up or physically restrained him?”

“Sure.Cuffs and wrestling and stuff.I never thought much about it.”

Will nodded.“Charlie’s fantasy is just the far end of a continuum with those things.Keep occasionally doing those things, maybe pushing your comfort level a little with an extra restraint or particularly dominant behavior, but you don’t have to go to extremes to satisfy this need of Charlie’s.”

Colby took his hands away from his face and looked hopefully at Will.“No whips and chains and stuff?”

“Not unless you get the urge,” Will smiled.“If so, I have some I could loan you.”

“Hmm,” Colby said, realizing that everything Will had said about inability to release control also matched the older Eppes brother.

“Yeah,” Will said, his smile widening.“Sometimes Don is a lot like Charlie.”

“And you …”

“It definitely can be fun from the other side of the whip handle.”

Colby shook his head.“I’ll just take your word for that.”

“Fair enough,” Will said, picking up his sandwich again.

Colby ate some of his chips, toying with the image in his brain of a naked Charlie bound with leather and chains.There was a visceral appeal to the idea, something dark and ugly.Or maybe just deep-seated and primal.

After a few moments, Will asked, “How you doing?”

“Better,” Colby said and gave Will a crooked smile.“You’re a good teacher.”

Will broke into a grin.“Thanks!”

“Thanks for taking off from work like that.”

“Are you kidding?”Will said with a twinkle in his eyes. “I’d rather talk about sex any day.”


	4. Colby's Conclusions

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Charlie and Colby talk.

**Title:** Asking Him, Part 4 of 4  
 **Characters:** Charlie/Colby **  
Rating:** FRM, R **  
Summary:** Charlie wants something that Colby doesn't think he can give him.  
Part 4 - Colby's Conclusions  
Charlie and Colby talk.  
 ** **Disclaimer:**** Not my characters, not my world, making no money. ** **  
Feedback:**** Yes, please! Feed the author! **  
Warning: Discussion of BDSM**  
 ** **A/N:****   This is a sequel to [Sniper Dreams](http://irena-adler.livejournal.com/49000.html).  Thanks to my content expert and my betas.  


 

**Part 4 – Colby's Conclusions**   


  


Don sent Colby home early that day, saying that his brain was obviously not in his work. Megan looked like she was dying of curiosity, but thankfully didn’t ask, and Colby knew that Don wouldn’t tell her.Charlie’s car was in the driveway when he got home.Colby took a deep breath and opened the door.

“Charlie?” he called.No response in the house, so he went out to the garage.

Charlie was huddled on the old couch, his knees drawn up to his chin, his arms wrapped around his legs.

“Hey, Angel,” Colby said.

Charlie looked up.“Still calling me that?”

Colby smiled softly.“Of course I am.”He sat down next to Charlie and put his arm around him.He pulled Charlie closer and rested his cheek on Charlie’s hair.“Of course.”

“I’m glad,” Charlie whispered, his voice heavy with tears.

“Oh, Charlie,” Colby said, kissing his head.“I’m never gonna stop loving you.I was confused and upset, but that’s not gonna change that I love you.You’re always gonna be my Angel.”

Charlie let go of his knees and threw his arms around Colby.He clung to Colby, pressing his face into Colby’s neck.

“Shh …” Colby said, rocking his emotional lover while Charlie snuffled against his throat.“I talked with Will today.He helped me understand.”

“Really?”Charlie said, pulling back.“So you think you might …”

“I don’t know,” Colby said honestly.“It’s just not me.”

Charlie sighed and nodded.

“You could—” Colby started then stopped.He took a breath and willed his voice to be steady and calm.He tried again, “You could ask Will instead.”

Charlie blinked at him.“What?”

“Yes,” Colby said, proud of his outward poise.“Will is very experienced.I’m sure, if it’s okay with Don, that Will could give you exactly what you want.”

Charlie stared at him.“You want me to … have sex with Will?”

“I want you to be happy,” Colby said.“Whatever that takes.”

“God, Colby,” Charlie snapped. “That’s crazy.You want me to go have sex with someone else?”

“I want you to be happy,” Colby repeated.

“No … no, no, no, no,” Charlie said vehemently.“You’re all I need.”

“But …”

“Cole,” Charlie said, his big eyes serious.“You are just … You’re all sex to me.It never _occurred_ to me that this would bother you, though, in retrospect, it should have.You’re everything I’ve ever wanted in a partner.Things that I didn’t know I wanted you give me.How could I want anyone but you?”

“Thank God,” Colby gasped in relief and hugged Charlie tightly.

Charlie grumbled, “You’re crazy,” and hugged him back. 

Releasing Charlie, Colby met his eyes.“I want to hear, from you, why you would want this.”

Charlie nodded and frowned in thought.“Throughout various … encounters I’ve had,” he began slowly.“With you, wrestling or cuffs, and David, and Don that time with David, and even the first time I met Will …”

Colby gritted his teeth against jealousy and remained silent.

Charlie continued, “There’s occasionally been a hint of something that … spoke to me on a very deep level.Will helped me to bring it more to a conscious level.See, all my life everyone has coddled me and protected me, but also demanded all the time that I do great and wonderful things.I want to feel what it feels like to be complete powerless, completely helpless, but only with the person I trust most in the whole world.”

“And that’s me?” Colby had to ask.

“Of course, silly,” Charlie said gently.

Stroking Charlie’s hair, Colby gave a deep sigh.“I don’t want to hurt you, Angel.I can’t get past that.”

“It’s not hurting me, it’s just a different sensation.You know how I am – sometimes I can’t seem to stop thinking, can’t seem to get my brain to shut up.”

“Often,” Colby said with a tiny smile.

“And you also know that sex is one thing that brings me out of my thoughts and into my body.But sometimes even that’s not enough.I need something extra, something to make me _feel_.You’re so good at doing that, giving things a twist.This would be just another twist.”

“Will called it on a continuum with things that we’ve already done,” Colby mumbled.

“See?” Charlie beamed.“It isn’t as out there as it sounded.”

Colby gave a wry chuckle at Charlie’s triumphant expression.He knew he shouldn’t have used the word continuum.

Charlie dipped his head and looked coyly up through his lashes at Colby.“If you do this for me, I’ll fulfill your deepest fantasy.”

Colby had to smile at the blatant ploy.“Oh, and what is that?”

Charlie leaned forward and murmured huskily in his ear, “I’ll dress up like an army sergeant and fuck you in an army jeep.”

A jolt went through Colby and his eyes opened wide.It had never occurred to him but … _Oh, God._

Charlie smirked.

“Sounds like—” Colby swallowed.“Sounds like fun.”

“I’ll even yell at you and make you call me ‘sir.’”

“Sounds fun,” Colby repeated.“But no trade.If we do … what you want, it needs to be for itself.”

“Okay,” Charlie shrugged.“Though I know where I can rent an army uniform.”

“Would make a good birthday present,” Colby said.

“Not sure I can wait ‘til then,” Charlie said with a cheeky grin.

Smiling, Colby shook his head as Charlie’s emotional pendulum swung back towards cheerful.He ran his fingers down Charlie’s face.“I was kinda tired last night,” Colby said, although they both knew what it had actually been.“Maybe I can get a rain check from then?”

In answer, Charlie turned his head to kiss Colby’s hand.Colby pulled him into his arms for a gentle, loving kiss.Charlie sighed softly, a sound of relief and happiness, and deepened the kiss.Colby stroked Charlie’s neck and slid his hand under the collar of Charlie’s T-shirt.Charlie’s fingers slid between the buttons of Colby’s dress shirt to touch the skin underneath.Colby took his time, running his hands over Charlie’s slim shoulders, through Charlie’s tangled hair.With each touch, he reacquainted himself with his lover, reminding himself that this was the same Charlie that he’d woken up with two days ago.He just, as Will had said, now had more information, had another piece to the endless mystery that was Charlie.If he’d wanted simple, he’d chosen the wrong partner.

Stroking Charlie’s thigh, Colby watched as Charlie worked off his tie.Charlie’s face was back to his normal faint smile, his eyes lit with the enthusiasm he always brought to sex.

Colby smiled wryly to himself.He bet Charlie believed that he’d eventually wear Colby down.Charlie always got what he wanted, in the end.But Colby was going to stand his ground on this one, until – and _if_ – he felt ready.Going into something like that unwillingly would, he was quite sure, damage his relationship with Charlie.This time, Charlie just might have to be satisfied with the slow way – with Colby showing him day by day that he loved him unconditionally and didn’t demand that Charlie always be Charles Eppes, Genius.

Colby put one finger under Charlie’s chin and tilted it up so Charlie was looking him in the eyes.“My Charlie,” Colby murmured, “Every single weird bit of you.”Then he proceeded to show it.


End file.
